grief
by sassyfriend
Summary: Legolas doesn't know what to do with the feelings inside of him


Legolas walked slowly, following his comrades as they began the trek to Lothlorien. He silently glanced at his friends, trying to make sense of what had just happened to them.  
Boromir was carrying a sobbing Pippin, but the son of Gondor's eyes where filled with unshed tears as well.  
Merry and Sam's cheeks where wet, and Frodo's face had such pallor, it was almost milky white.  
Gimli was shaking, but whether it was with rage or sorrow, the Elf couldn't tell.

Aragorn led them on, and the Elf suddenly felt the need to be with the man, and thus carefully made his way up front to him. The Ranger sensed the presence of another, and when he turned to see who was by his side, he was wearing an odd smile.

"Is all well?" Aragorn asked. Legolas didn't reply, keeping to his silence. "Legolas?" the man addressed him again.  
"Everything is alright, as far as we aren't being followed."

Aragorn gave a sigh and nodded. "How are you faring, my friend?" he asked in concern.  
Legolas shifted his gaze and looked down at the green grass beneath his feet.

"I am not sure, but I feel... different..." the Elf attempted to turn his feelings into words.

They walked together in silence. That afternoon the Fellowship reached the Golden Wood and set up camp as the sun sunk low into the horizon, casting the beautiful hues of approaching evening across the sky.

Legolas had only just come back from taking a bath, and was walking into camp when his ears picked up the elven song. He winced; it was not the kind of singing he was used to. The sorrowful tune tugged at his heartstrings, even more so as he joined his friends.

"A lament for Gandalf." Legolas realized that he had spoken out loud when Merry turned to him to ask what the haunting melody was about.

He didn't have the heart to tell them.

Gimli seemed oblivious, snoring quite loudly where he lay on soft covers, and Aragorn thumped the dwarf's side, trying to get him to quieten.

Legolas suddenly felt he had to get away from it all. He leapt nimbly into a tree and was gone before anyone could protest.

Later that night Aragorn ventured out in search of his friend. He found him standing alone in an almost darkened clearing. The lights of the lanterns had faded away, and only the stars and moon shone with cold brilliance. There was confusion on Legolas's face.

"We need to talk, mellon nin," the Ranger said. They sat together, facing each other.

"I heard what you told Merry," Aragorn continued softly.

"They still sing," Legolas whispered. He felt the Man take hold of his hands, gently rubbing his thumbs on them.

"What happened to Gandalf?" the Elf went on in a subdued tone.

"What do you mean?" The question was unforeseen, and Aragorn felt somewhat confused.

Legolas looked anywhere but in Aragorn's eyes, because he felt his own sting and was ashamed of it. "To his b... body..." he clarified, choking on the words.

Aragorn heard the voice of his friend shake. The Elf's face was pale and yet red at the same moment. The Man realized he was afraid.

"I... I don't really know, Legolas. The chasm beneath the bridge of Khazad-dum was deep."

The words made Legolas feel as though someone had just driven a fist into his stomach.

"He won't... ever be... back, will... he?" he managed to breathe out.

Aragorn shook his head, and then letting go of the Elf's hands, he wrapped his arms around him.

Legolas simply fell onto his friend's chest, hiding his face in the man's soft shirt.

Aragorn realized his eyes had begun to sting, and hearing the Ranger sob made Legolas's own tears come forth. "I... I'm s... sca...red!"

"I... know..." Aragorn rubbed his friend's back, rocking back and forth. He hated to admit it, but he was afraid too.

For some time the only thing they could do was cry.

Before long, Legolas had fallen asleep, still clinging to his best friend.

Aragorn stopped rocking and just held the Elf close. The man's face was sore from all the tears. He looked up and watched the stars shine.  
He remembered Gandalf's smile, his laugh, his leadership, and love as sleep finally claimed him, his arms still around his friend.


End file.
